25/36. You're the personification of comic sans.
26/36. It must be difficult for you, exhausting your entire vocabulary in one sentence.
27/36. Letting you live was medical malpractice.
28/36. A douche of your magnitude could cleanse the vagina of a whale.
29/36. Your IQ doesn't make a respectable earthquake.
30/36. You are a walking advertisement for the benefits of birth control.
31/36. You're so ugly your birth certificate is an apology letter from Durex.
32/36. If you were any more inbred, you'd be a sandwich.
33/36. If my dogs face was as ugly as yours, i'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards.
34/36. Save your breath, you'll need to to blow up your girlfriend later.
35/36. You're the opposite of Batman.
36. You look like you're going to spend your life having one epiphany after another, always thinking you've finally figured out what's holding you back, and how you can finally be productive and creative and turn your life around. But nothing will ever change. That cycle of mediocrity isn't due to some obstacle. It's who you are. The thing standing in the way of your dreams is that the person having them is you.
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