It's the absolute worst when you only think of the perfect comeback when the person who deserved it is long gone. Later, in the shower, you become Shakespearean in your ability to tear someone down and strike at the core of their being.
Well, for the sake of preparedness, here are some insults to keep in your back pocket for when the moment arises...
1/36. My middle finger gets a boner every time I see you.
2/36. I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.
3/36. When God put teeth in your mouth he ruined a perfectly good as*hole.
4/36. I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I'm having a hard time getting my head that far up my own a*s.
5/36. I'd slap you, but sh*t stains.
6/36. You're dumber than snake mittens.
7/36. Your only chance of getting laid is to crawl up a chicken's a*s and wait.
8/36. Let me guess... you're the first person in your family without a tail?
9/36. The smartest thing that ever came out of your mouth is a penis.
10/36. Keep rolling your eyes... maybe you'll find a brain back there.
11/36. Your family's gene pool could use a little chlorine.
12/36. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and sh*t a better line than that.
Continue the insults on the next page!