32 Jokes That Only Intellectual People Will Understand.


8. A golfer invited a minister, a doctor and an engineer to play golf at his club. After a few holes, one guest said "That foursome ahead of us is really slow. They're all over the fairway, they're in the rough, four-putting holes...couldn't we ask to play through?"

The host replied "No, we don't like to do that. Those guys are blind. They have a special pro who helps them line up shots, and our club lets them play free."

The minister said "Why that's marvelous. What courage! I'll ask my congregation to pray for them...maybe we could get a miracle."

The doctor said "Well, maybe I can beat that. I know an opthalmologist who's having good luck with some experimental surgeries...maybe he could help."

The engineer scratched his chin for a moment and said "Couldn't they play at night?"
- shleppenwolf

9. Three statisticians go hunting. They see a deer and the first one shoots, hitting three feet left of the deer. The second one shoots, hitting three feet right of the deer. The third one leaps up in joy, yelling, "we got him!"
- MrStryver

10. Pavlov is sitting in the bar having a drink. The phone rings and he looks up and says "I forgot to feed the dogs".
- CoachMarkS

11. Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Gödel, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar. Heisenberg turns to the other two and says, "Clearly this is a joke, but how can we figure out if it's funny or not?" Gödel replies, "We can't know that because we're inside the joke." Chomsky says, "Of course it's funny. You're just telling it wrong."
- ichaelsa

12. An engineer, a physicist and a mathematicians have to build a fence around a flock of sheep, using as little material as possible. The engineer forms the flock into a circular shape and constructs a fence around it. The physicist builds a fence with an infinite diameter and pulls it together until it fits around the flock. The mathematicians thinks for a while, then builds a fence around himself and defines himself as being outside.
- Extension16

13. A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist stand outside a house. They see two people enter the house, and after a while they see three people leave the house. The biologist says: "A fine case of reproduction if you ask me.". To which the physicist says: "That has to be an inaccurate measurement..". Lastly the mathematician says: "If one person were to enter the house, the house would be empty again."
- IShouldGetAJob

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