5/20. First grader didn't do his homework assignment (coloring in a big bubble letter)
Teacher: why didn't you do this?
Kid: my sister was using the colored pencil
Teacher: You could have just asked her to borrow it
5 second pause
Kid: No, she took it and went to Antarctica.
Teacher: nobody lives there
Kid: she does. she lives there now.
6/20. I was talking to my cousin about snakes and explained that some snakes were bigger than him. He didn't believe me so I showed him a picture and he looked at me like I was a moron and said "that snake isn't bigger than me, it just has more long.”
7/20. I was donating some of my niece's clothes that she had outgrown and she told me not to. I asked her why not, and she said because when the clothes got small enough she would put them on her dolls.... No concept of her growing, she thought the clothes were shrinking.
8/20. When we were kids my little sister and I were watching my dad clean out the fish tank. As he refilled it with water she suddenly panicked and shouted, "WHOA DAD, NOT TOO MUCH, THEY'LL DROWN!"
Still bring it up 20 years later.