5/15. A few summers ago I painted houses. I was a skinny 20 year old and needed a summer job. Well, come July my buddy and I started to paint this huge, beautiful house, complete with hot tub, pool and full-sized basketball court. The owners were super nice and let us swim in the pool after work. They also had a super hot daughter that was 23.
Well, one day, the owners left for vacation and I'm up on a 20+ feet ladder, painting the dormer of the hot girls bedroom. She comes in her room, sees me and proceeds to walk over to the window to tell me something (the windows were the kind that you crank and they open up away from you). She starts cranking the window, but doesn't see that it's going to hit my ladder. Que Murphy's Law, the window hits my ladder, makes it unsteady and I proceed to slide down the side of her house, two floors up, holding on for dear life to this ladder. The ladder stops and I'm flung off and land on my back and nail my head on the concrete.
I was knocked out for awhile and next thing I remember, I wake up in the hospital with a broken back and a major concussion. Needless to say, she felt bad and stayed by my bed until I could leave (stayed there for 4 days until I could go home). My buddy finished painting the house and I was bed-ridden for almost a month. The girl always brought me flowers and gifts and we ended up dating and having great apology sex. Her parents even gave me an extra $500 for painting.
6/15. Brought a bucket of legos to a house party (who doesn't love to play drunk legos?). So I'm laying on the floor sh*tfaced building a boat, and this girl comes sits next to me, and starts building a spaceship.
We now live together.
7/15. I spent a night at hotel with a girl. Woke up hung over a little so I went to 7-11 to buy some stuff. Met a girl in line at 7-11 and took her to a different hotel a block down from the original hotel. I high-fived myself.
8/15. Walking around Montreal trying to find nutmeg. I didn't speak french well--she didn't speak english well. We spent an hour or so walking around the city trying to find fresh nutmeg. Eventually we gave up and went for coffee.
Over coffee we made the sexy-eyes and tried to figure out that the other was saying. She invited me back to her place. We had sex, repeatedly. We took a shower, I got dressed and left.
I ultimately made it back to my friends apartment six hours later, still with no nutmeg.
Continue this article on the next page!